1st Draft

Here was some of the feedback that I got from my peers:

Karla

·      The paragraphs flowed into each other and made the essay nice to read even if you are not interested in the subject.

·      You have answered the question all throughout and would definitely say the question is answered.

Jaimie

·      Like Karla said, the paragraphs do flow well but there are a couple of occasions where you should join two paragraphs together in order for them to make complete sense.

·      It is really good and definitely answers the question but also makes the reader ask more questions to themselves.

I have taken this advice on board and ensured that I will in-act on this advice for my final essay.

Here was some of the other advice that I got from my peers:

This advice was really useful and you will be able to tell that in my final essay I have listened to this advice. For example I tried to get rid of any emotive language in my essay - as this is not an academic convention. Furthermore I have ensured that I have written in 3rd person instead of first. I am going to ensure that I get peer feedback more often for future projects as this has been really useful.

Another piece of advice that I am going to ensure I listen to from my lecturer is to use footnotes. This is another example of an academic convention, and it will be useful for me to use these in my essays to help explain things to my readers but at the same time not affect the flow of the essay. Therefore I will ensure that footnotes are included in my final essay.